Choose Career Freedom

“No one is coming to solve life’s problems for you.  If you do not do something different, nothing is going to get better.  Happy people are typically pro-active.  They do not passively wait for someone else to do something.  They take initiative in the pursuit of whatever is important to them.  They do not wait for the world or someone else to make them happy, which they know is impossible.” –Nathaniel Branden

Professional Freedom is based on recognizing the choices we have and taking responsibility for them.  Not making a choice is still a choice.  

You may hate your job, you are still choosing to get up and go to your place of work every day.  You might be saying at this moment, “he doesn’t understand, I have to pay the bills, or keep a roof over my head.   I do understand, you are actually choosing to earn money over not showing up for a job you don’t like   There is no judgement in this choice, it sounds like a responsible one.  It is not a circumstance that is happening independently,  it is a choice you are making.  When you don’t own the choices in your life, you start to consider yourself  a victim, and it becomes easy to blame other people, or circumstances for your situation.  This kind of thinking is disempowering, it is giving away your freedom, and will keep you stagnant for a long time.  

Commuters generally take the same route to work every day.  You have probably found the timeliest route and it has become a habit.  You are choosing to use that route every day. We can choose how to respond to someone who cuts us off in traffic, says something we disagree with, or doesn’t do their job.  How and whether you respond is up to you.  If someone does something you don’t like, you choose how to react or respond, how long you want to hang on to it, and how much energy you want to give to it.    Three is no rule, or law of the universe that even says you have to give it a second thought.  It is actually when our emotions run high that we have the opportunity to be our strongest.  This is when the urge to say or do something feels so compelling, it almost doesn’t feel like a choice.  Sometimes our reaction is so quick, the choice may even be just below our consciousness.  You can still bring awareness to it, and decide how you want to proceed.  

Are you expecting your company or boss to look after you, because you have been so loyal and done such a great job?  There isn’t any person or organization that will look out for your interests better than you can. At any moment you can choose to start taking care of yourself, taking responsibility for your life, and your choices.  This is where you stop blaming others in your past or your present; you recognize a white knight or fairy godmother is not coming to rescue you.  You present situation is the result of choices you made, you can also make choices that will change your current circumstances if they are not to your liking.  

This is when a person grows up.  It is a scary prospect to take responsibility for one’s life, career, and especially of your dreams.  There isn’t anyone that can make your dreams happen for you, there isn’t any other person that is concerned with doing this.  Even if there were, the most empowering thing you can do for yourself is to act is if there weren’t, and go out and make them happen yourself.  Who knows whether they will happen.  Taking responsibility for them, what needs to be done, will in itself be transformative.

Go out and try it for a day, week, month, year.  Just take responsibility for your choices, your life, and your dreams. Let us know what happens.

Happy Birthday Granny D

Granny D just turned 99. The icon, activist and grandmother of 16, has walked across America and travels the country fighting for the causes she believes in. At the age of 94 she ran for U.S. Senator Below is an excerpt from one of her many inspiring talks.

Finding your genius is sometimes a hard trick. Sometimes it is easily spotted, embraced and nurtured. But some of you will not find it until you are old and gray. Some of you will never find it, though it was always there for you to find, I assure you. Sometimes we see it and do not want to find it quite where it pops up. “Well, yes, I happen to be very good at that, but, Dear Lord, I don’t want to be that for life.” Read More

Throw You New Year’s Resolution Away – Now Is The Time To Go For Your Dreams.

You know it’s coming, in the next few days someone is going to ask you what your
New Year’s Resolution is. Don’t worry though, hardly anyone asks if you kept your previous resolution. I guess they do not want to be asked the same question. In most cases the answer is no. Statistics say over 95% of New Year’s Resolutions are not kept.

There are many reasons why New Year’s Resolutions fall by the wayside. I am not sure how helpful it would be to look at them. Instead lets take a look at what actually works for people:

Think Big!
I would say, so big that it is a dream not a resolution. Whatever it is you want for yourself, it needs to be important enough to inspire. If fitness or losing weight is on your agenda; Can you see yourself training for and running The New York Marathon in November? This kind of commitment would engage your mind, body, and soul. This is the kind of experience that asks more of you than “losing 10 pounds” or “going to the gym more often”, it is also the kind of experience that could be life changing.

It needs to be important to YOU.
Make sure it is your dream, not what a parent, spouse, friend, boss, or society wants for you. It shouldn’t be something you think your supposed to want or do. If it is not your dream, will you be able to stay in it when the challenges come up. Wouldn’t you rather feel inspired? Inspiration comes from within. It’s o.k. if someone in your life has the same dream, however, it just isn’t worth pursuing a dream that isn’t yours.

Be specific. You need to know what you want to get what you want.>
If you ask someone their definition of success, the most common answers are money, health, job, security, and family. Those are words not dreams. Who is it that you want to be in the world, within your profession, family, community? If you are a financial advisor, being known as the “go to guy in your community for families that want financial freedom”, is very different than “finding more clients.” It asks you to see yourself in a different way. Who are you working with? What are they dressed like? Are you in the city or suburbs? Use all five of your senses, approach it as if you are writing and directing a movie. Use as much detail as possible.

Make it challenging but attainable.
If it is so challenging that it isn’t attainable, like winning an Olympic Gold Medal at age 55, you will lose interest. At the same time if it is too easy, you will probably lose interest just as fast. If you want to take into account your health and age, you may have you eye on competing in a race in your age group.

Write it down.
Writing it down gives your focus, clarity, and brings the energy of your ideas out into the world. If your dream is a single sentence, you are not using your imagination. “I want one million dollars” is not a dream. Ask yourself Who you want to be?, What you want to do? and What you want to have? in your future. I subscribe to the adage, what you dwell on grows. Writing it down will get your thinking out of the past and present, to what you want to see happening in the future.

It is much easier to create a new habit then eradicate an old one.
This is actually based in neuroscience; reasearch shows it is easier to create new wiring in the human brain than eliminate old wiring. Focus on what you are going to do, not on what you want to stop doing.

Make sure you have the support you need.
By nature human beings are highly adaptable to their environment. If your environment is not set up to support you, then it will drag you down. This is one of the key reasons, you can almost always get started on a resolution and somewhere along the line be pulled back.

This is not restricted to your physical environment, it includes people, financial, health, leisure, and other environments you engage with. Consider whether these areas of your life set up to support you, or are holding you back. As an example, if you are looking to earn more money; Who are the people you spend most of your time with? Are they earning less or more than you? Do they constantly say “money is not important”? Do they have prejudices against wealthy people? Consider spending time with people who are where you want to be.

The dream has to be in integrity with who you are.
It does not have to be altruistic, pick someting that is in alignment with who you are, your own idea of success. There is no moral judgment in what is important to you.If it goes against your personal values, it is not your dream.

Focus on the journey, not the destination.
You can’t control the outcome, only the actions you take and choices you make.There are no guarantess, so you may as well enjoy the ride. You can suffer, sacrifice, and even conjure up all sorts of unwritten contracts with the world, or your god. There are still no guarantees. If someone trains to run a marathon, they may actually have a lot of fun. It could involve joining a running club; training with a spouse, mate, or friend; and buying new running clothes. Even if you didn’t run in the marathon you may have had an awesome time training. Oh yeah, and probably lose a few pounds, build self esteem, and be healthier as a result.

When you get clear on what it is you want, you start feel empowered. You start to feel like you are right with the world, and have the inner knowing that I can do this. This isn’t some magical formula for greed, prestige, or status, it is about becoming more of who you already are.

Happy New Year

Lessons From The Peaceful Warrior

The movie “Peaceful Warrior” aired on Showtime this week. A few years ago I read the excellent book it is based on “The Way of The Peaceful Warrior” by Dan Millman . The movie reminded me of some really valuable lessons the story offers, a few of which I have listed below:

I call myself a Peaceful Warrior… because the battles we fight are on the inside.

Everyone wants to tell you what to do and what’s good for you. They don’t want you to find your own answers, they want you to believe theirs. I want you to stop gathering information from the outside and start gathering it from the inside.

Death isn’t sad, the sad thing is that most people don’t live at all.

Everything has a purpose, even this, and it’s up to you to find it.

Socrates: Where are you?
Dan: Here
Socrates: What time is it?
Dan: Now
Socrates: What are you?
Dan: This moment.

This moment is the only thing that matters.

The people that are the hardest to love are usually the ones that need it the most.

3 Rules of Life

Paradox: Life is a mystery. Don’t waste time trying to figure it out.
Humor: Keep a sense of humor, especially about yourself. It is a strength beyond all.
Change: Know that nothing stays the same.

The Journey is what brings us happiness not the destination.

If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don’t want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is a law, and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.

You haven’t yet opened your heart fully, to life, to each moment. The peaceful warrior’s way is not about invulnerability, but absolute vulnerability–to the world, to life, and to the presence you felt. All along I’ve shown you by example that a warrior’s life is not about imagined perfection or victory; it is about love. Love is a warrior’s sword; wherever it cuts, it gives life, not death.

Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is…The only problem in your life is your mind’s resistance to life as it unfolds.

Wake up! If you knew for certain you had a terminal illness–if you had little time left to live–you would waste precious little of it! Well, I’m telling you…you do have a terminal illness: It’s called birth. You don’t have more than a few years left. No one does! So be happy now, without reason–or you will never be at all.

Moderation? It’s mediocrity, fear, and confusion in disguise. It’s the devil’s dilemma. It’s neither doing nor not doing. It’s the wobbling compromise that makes no one happy. Moderation is for the bland, the apologetic, for the fence-sitters of the world afraid to take a stand. It’s for those afraid to laugh or cry, for those afraid to live or die. Moderation…is lukewarm tea, the devil’s own brew.

Take Responsibility for Your Life – Part 2

Author Melody Beattie wrote a profound book of meditations “More Language of Letting Go“ which offers bold perspective on taking responsibility for our lives. The passage for January 6th in particular speaks with a clearer perspective than anything else I have read on this topic.

This passage begins outlining the risks one would take when they go skydiving, bungee jumping, or a number of other sports, rides, etc. You are asked to sign a waiver acknowledging the danger in what you are about to do. “You sign the waiver to protect others from being liable in case of an accident”.

She suggests that we take this same viewpoint with all of the choices we make in our lives. “Ultimately no one is responsible for my life but me. There is no one to blame, no one to sue, no one to ask for a refund.”

To help the reader on this path, she created a waiver for the reader to sign. This waiver asks the reader to take responsibility for the decisions they make. Where and who they live with..how you spend money and time… “There are inherent dangers and risks in all decisions I make. Life and people have no obligation whatsoever to live up to my expectations…Life is a high risk sport and I may become injured along the way.

The passage concludes with “Although people may voluntarily nurture and love me. I and I alone am responsible for taking care of and loving myself.”

This is pure poetry about how to get the most out of life.

5 Tenets of Freedom – Take Responsibility For Your Life – Part 1

When someone is in a less than ideal situation in work or a relationship, it is easy to feel like a victim of a boss or circumstance. It is not uncommon to feel almost powerless in such a situation, as if we don’t have any choices, while we are actually giving up our freedom to choose. A few years back a coach of mine David Dowd shared with me the 5 Tenets of Freedom; They are about taking responsibility for our lives and our choices. Ask yourself how you are choosing to be in the situation you are in? Take your life back!

The Five Tenets of Freedom

1. Freedom is more important than anything else
2. Uncover where I am operating as a victim and transfor that to a choice.

• Do I feel victimized by someone or something?
• Am I operating out of a sense of feeling entitled or being owed?
• Am I looking to be rescued or saved?
• Am I blaming someone else?

3. Face everything and avoid nothing.
4. Don’t take life personally.
5. Freedom is directly correlated to my ability to see myself as part of a whole.