Throw You New Year’s Resolution Away – Now Is The Time To Go For Your Dreams.
You know it’s coming, in the next few days someone is going to ask you what your
New Year’s Resolution is. Don’t worry though, hardly anyone asks if you kept your previous resolution. I guess they do not want to be asked the same question. In most cases the answer is no. Statistics say over 95% of New Year’s Resolutions are not kept.
There are many reasons why New Year’s Resolutions fall by the wayside. I am not sure how helpful it would be to look at them. Instead lets take a look at what actually works for people:
I would say, so big that it is a dream not a resolution. Whatever it is you want for yourself, it needs to be important enough to inspire. If fitness or losing weight is on your agenda; Can you see yourself training for and running The New York Marathon in November? This kind of commitment would engage your mind, body, and soul. This is the kind of experience that asks more of you than “losing 10 pounds” or “going to the gym more often”, it is also the kind of experience that could be life changing.
It needs to be important to YOU.
Make sure it is your dream, not what a parent, spouse, friend, boss, or society wants for you. It shouldn’t be something you think your supposed to want or do. If it is not your dream, will you be able to stay in it when the challenges come up. Wouldn’t you rather feel inspired? Inspiration comes from within. It’s o.k. if someone in your life has the same dream, however, it just isn’t worth pursuing a dream that isn’t yours.
Be specific. You need to know what you want to get what you want.>
If you ask someone their definition of success, the most common answers are money, health, job, security, and family. Those are words not dreams. Who is it that you want to be in the world, within your profession, family, community? If you are a financial advisor, being known as the “go to guy in your community for families that want financial freedom”, is very different than “finding more clients.” It asks you to see yourself in a different way. Who are you working with? What are they dressed like? Are you in the city or suburbs? Use all five of your senses, approach it as if you are writing and directing a movie. Use as much detail as possible.
Make it challenging but attainable.
If it is so challenging that it isn’t attainable, like winning an Olympic Gold Medal at age 55, you will lose interest. At the same time if it is too easy, you will probably lose interest just as fast. If you want to take into account your health and age, you may have you eye on competing in a race in your age group.
Write it down.
Writing it down gives your focus, clarity, and brings the energy of your ideas out into the world. If your dream is a single sentence, you are not using your imagination. “I want one million dollars” is not a dream. Ask yourself Who you want to be?, What you want to do? and What you want to have? in your future. I subscribe to the adage, what you dwell on grows. Writing it down will get your thinking out of the past and present, to what you want to see happening in the future.
It is much easier to create a new habit then eradicate an old one.
This is actually based in neuroscience; reasearch shows it is easier to create new wiring in the human brain than eliminate old wiring. Focus on what you are going to do, not on what you want to stop doing.
Make sure you have the support you need.
By nature human beings are highly adaptable to their environment. If your environment is not set up to support you, then it will drag you down. This is one of the key reasons, you can almost always get started on a resolution and somewhere along the line be pulled back.
This is not restricted to your physical environment, it includes people, financial, health, leisure, and other environments you engage with. Consider whether these areas of your life set up to support you, or are holding you back. As an example, if you are looking to earn more money; Who are the people you spend most of your time with? Are they earning less or more than you? Do they constantly say “money is not important”? Do they have prejudices against wealthy people? Consider spending time with people who are where you want to be.
The dream has to be in integrity with who you are.
It does not have to be altruistic, pick someting that is in alignment with who you are, your own idea of success. There is no moral judgment in what is important to you.If it goes against your personal values, it is not your dream.
Focus on the journey, not the destination.
You can’t control the outcome, only the actions you take and choices you make.There are no guarantess, so you may as well enjoy the ride. You can suffer, sacrifice, and even conjure up all sorts of unwritten contracts with the world, or your god. There are still no guarantees. If someone trains to run a marathon, they may actually have a lot of fun. It could involve joining a running club; training with a spouse, mate, or friend; and buying new running clothes. Even if you didn’t run in the marathon you may have had an awesome time training. Oh yeah, and probably lose a few pounds, build self esteem, and be healthier as a result.
When you get clear on what it is you want, you start feel empowered. You start to feel like you are right with the world, and have the inner knowing that I can do this. This isn’t some magical formula for greed, prestige, or status, it is about becoming more of who you already are.
Happy New Year